We got a new white kitten yesterday, from our dear Pastor’s family.

His name is Buttermilk! Isn’t that sweet? The name was a result of many hours of deliberation and voting. Nothing is simple when you live in a house with 8 people.

He slept in mine and my sister’s room last night, and it went well, except for about 3am, when he decided to attack all things with his claws and teeth. He eventually settled down.

Noah agrees! This new addition to our family is so much fun!

He even puts up with being poked, prodded, smothered, and squeezed. Which is always a good quality to have when entering our household…

Disclaimer: This post is not for the faint-hearted. Those who read it may experience horrifying mental images of arachnids. Also, I didn’t put a picture with this post. Because an actual image would have been even more terrifying than a mental one. If you are brave enough, venture over to my sister’s photography blog. She took some great pictures of the spiders which she will be putting up later.

There is nothing quite as horrifically terrifying as a spider. Especially the big, creepy spiders that build webs all. over. our. yard. in August. I don’t know what kind they are, although my mother would tell me to look it up in a field guide. I say, no way. I really don’t want to know.

It’s not hard avoiding going outside in heat of August, so that’s generally what I tend to do. Unfortunately, I am 1/8 of a dog owner. Meaning I have one unavoidable responsibility to take the dog out before I go to sleep.

I’m not one to be fearful, but if there’s one thing scarier than a spider, it’s walking into the dark yard and hoping that you won’t come into contact with a spider. Give me a roach or a rat anyday. Actually, I take that back about the rat.

Another thing, these spiders don’t just build a neat little web in between two tree limbs. Oh no. They build a GIGANTIC WEB that stretches across the entire yard. They favor stretching across walkways, and one of them built a huge web right next to the front door. Let me tell you, there’s nothing more unnerving than walking out the front door and being face to face with a huge, hairy, blood-sucking spider. That crawls. And wants to invade my personal space. *shudder*

So, today I’m sharing a few spider-avoiding tips for all.

1. When venturing outside with your dog, first make your little brother go out and beat a stick around where you’ll be walking.

2. Take a flashlight and shine it ten feet around you in all directions at all times.

3. When it’s daytime, make the aforementioned brother, or dad kill all spiders.

4. When you DO run into a spider web, it’s okay to scream and jump like a maniac. The neighbors will stare, your sister will laugh (but not when it happens to her, mind you) and your baby brother may wake up, but it’s absolutely necessary.

5. Most importantly, when you bring your dog inside, check them for spiders. Or else you may risk bringing the hideous creature into YOUR BEDROOM. To crawl on you in the night. I’ve thoroughly freaked myself out now.

Don’t bother telling me that spiders are good and they eat mosquitoes. That’s what bug spray is for. You can have all the spiders you want in your yard.

Just don’t invite me over.